When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
