She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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