Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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