I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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