evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
