i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
