I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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