omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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