The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Everything about him screamed your future.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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