Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
