No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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