i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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