people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize