seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
