I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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