Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
