Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
