Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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