dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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