He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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