Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
