Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
