you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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