UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
