not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
