On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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