We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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