He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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