I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
