Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
