I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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