She's the barista slut.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
