Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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