everyone is single if you try hard enough
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
