So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
