u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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