how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
