Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
