btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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