The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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