WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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