Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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