You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
sex in a hospital.. check
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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