alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
