I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh god it's open bar.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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