think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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