Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
