Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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