Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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