I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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