Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
someone owes me an orgasm
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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