Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
