you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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