my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
