If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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